Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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