I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize