Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
