Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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