There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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