I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
