U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
