I am puke
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
