You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
