I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
and you fell through a lawn chair
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
