He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
