Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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