Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
