Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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