There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
