Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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