Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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