I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
