office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
