i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
