come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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