she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
