Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
