i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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