Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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