my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
