Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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