I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
