just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize