Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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