Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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