Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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