I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
