when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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