Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
is wine microwaveable?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
