ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
