I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize