so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
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My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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