Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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