Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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