this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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