he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
