Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
