So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
