so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
