omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
