it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
