Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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