Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize