He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
