Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
