Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
