i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
