try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
